Gonna test-write this here with a smaller audience before putting it up elsewhere.

[shadesofmauve]

When we talk about working to stop oppression, lots of people get tied up questions of personal responsibility and blame and defensiveness. There are lots of great essays about that, but having to go over it every time is distracting, so I want to look at it practically, instead.

Look.

A black person cannot have a "useful conversation" with a white supremacist because that white supremacist has already decided that they have no value and thus won't listen to anything they say. The only person the white supremacist might listen to is other white people, because those are the only people whom they value.

A woman cannot change the mind of a die-hard sexist because the die-hard sexist has already decided that her words have no merit based on her gender. The people with the best chance of dismantling that sexism are men, because the die-hard sexist values what they say.

The transgender person can't change the mind of the entrenched transphobe because the entrenched transphobe has already decided they're a freak and everything they say is warped or suspect. They only value the words of cisgender people.

Dismantling white supremacy is white people's work, because we're the only ones who can do it.
Dismantling sexism is men's work, because they're the only ones that can do it.
Dismantling anti-semitism is goyim work, because we're the only ones that can do it.
Dismantling homophobia is straight people's work, because we're the only ones that can do it.

I want to acknowledge that people in an oppressed group *can* impact people who have unconcious bias -- they do tons of that work all the time. It's the die-hard/entrenched/actively-out-to-get-you people who BY DEFINITION won't listen to those they oppress. I need to figure out how to do that acknowledgement without lessening the power of the statement. On the other end of the scale, I truly think that when you have someone like the nazi fuckheads marching in Charlottesville, there is no such thing as a 'useful conversation' with them. There is a useful reaction, though -- like the family who disowned their nazi son, the people who's words these assholes actually value need to say "Fuck you" and turn their backs on them. It's still white people's work, I just don't think we get there through a heart-to-heart over the dinnertable, because the enemy is too far gone.

I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate that nuance -- the idea that there are hugely different levels of racism/sexism/homophia/antisemitism etc etc etc -- without losing the power of the message. 

Gotta think on that one.

Comments

[sarasa_cat]

While I agree with the fundamental sentiment, statements like Dismantling X is Non-X's work, because we're the only ones who can do it" are a problem because it unintentionally suggests that Non-Xs have the solution when, almost always, they don't.

Take "Dismantling sexism is men's work, because they're the only ones that can do it." There are some very good examples in the tech industry about how it took a lot of input from women to transform an engineering team from very few women to 50% women. Men did not have the answers. What men needed to do was take a step back, listen, and work toward a common goal.

Things get far more complex with "Dismantling homophobia is straight people's work" because there is a lot of bigotry and queer-v-queer hatred INSIDE the LGBTQ community. Straight people can help dismantle anti-queer bigotry, but anti-queer bigotry is a much larger can of worms than homophobia.

I'm not even sure where to begin with "Dismantling white supremacy is white people's work" because white supremacists have a very specific definition of whiteness, because even thought the american problem is rooted in definitions of blackness vs whiteness the problem and the racial.ethnic history is far more complex, and there are a lot of non-white communities that need to a hell of a lot of work rooting out their own anti-blackness, much less the reasons why they have been rewarded for their racism. I mean ... this is a big fucking issue with centuries of good writing and decades of excellent writing and ...

Which gets back to my original statement: I agree with the fundamental sentiment if the sentiment is "straight white christian-heritage america needs to wake up and realize they need to take part in shoveling the shit out of the stables." But where I profoundly disagree is idea that this wake up call should be result in straight white christian-heritage americans elbowing their way forward to grab all the shovels and shame-shovel as fast as possible until all the shit is gone. Because it doesn't work like that.