March 12th, 2012

shadesofmauve: (ZP brain escape)
I thought I'd get through ME3 before posting about issues I have with Joker and, of course, EDI. I thought I'd managed to avoid some of the Joker/EDI nastiness by shutting her down hard early on. I was pretty thankful for that, actually.

But I thought wrong.

Last night I triggered the ambient dialogue wherein Joker is basically asking Mordin about ways to have sex with the fetish-bot over the intercom. This happened after I told EDI to leave him alone, and before I was even given the chance to tell Joker to lay off, so the only way to avoid it would have been not to enter the medbay.

I think that maybe it was an attempt to show that the physical side of relationships isn't off the table for Joker; unfortunately it ends up being even more offensive than just leaving it ambiguous.

Implying that a thirty-one year old person with a disability hasn't figured out work-arounds for their own condition yet is insulting on multiple levels. It plays into multiple misconceptions and assumptions: that he's never been (and couldn't be!) sexual up 'till now, wasn't intelligent enough to figure it out for himself, and needs special help from someone else* - someone, I'll add, who isn't even human.

If you live with a disability, you are more aware of your capabilities and limitations than ANYONE else. It's YOUR body; you figure it out because you have to, every damn day. Any half-way decent doctor will offer you private, professional support, and will offer it early -- there are pamphlets, books, and support groups, all of which Joker would have been familiar with before he was 18 -- unless I'm supposed to believe that somehow sex is MORE taboo in 150 years than it is now. Any half-way decent doctor will also defer to the patient on multiple issues, because they know that the patient is more aware of their own limits than they are.

What caps it, though, is that because of how the entire ambient is framed -- who it's with, the fact that it's over intercom, the ending -- it's immediately and painfully apparent that it's supposed to make the player laugh. And I can't fucking forgive that.

*There's a whole other post on the idea of the Special Someone that I'll write in a bit. In the meantime, please be aware that there are a lot of issues here and I'm happy to attempt to explain anything that doesn't make sense -- but I might not do a good job. This whole thing is finding sensitive spots I hadn't even realized were there, and they're all interconnected, so I'm doing a lot of angry processing and my thoughts aren't as coherrent and articulate as they might otherwise be.

Also, though all of the processing is related at least indirectly to Mass Effect, some of the revelations have come through conversations with PwDs or from writing (and reading reactions to) my own fic -- there's kind of a lot going on in my head at the moment.
shadesofmauve: (Default)
I've been thinking more about my physical issues than I have in ages. A few years ago my body stopped the trend of adding new minor failures every couple of years (knock on wood, fingers crossed, etc), and at some point even minor new additions (that one winter with the nasty hip pain, for instance) are just... expected. It's not a big deal, unless it packs a bit more punch. I'd kind of reached a point where I thought a lot of the processing was done -- appearance uncertainty isn't so much an issue with a sweetheart who thinks you're hot, I'm learning to expect and cope with reynauds instead of letting it frustrate me, and I've bicycled a gods-damned century, which gave quite a bit of punch to the "I can do what I damn well want, bad leg or no" feeling.

I've got quite a few thoughts I'd like to get out there for others, but untangling them is hard -- there's stuff that's new and raw, stuff that's old hat for me but might be helpful to someone else. So far things fit roughly into two buckets:

- What you owe other people in your life and when and when not to be a teachable moment

- What is normal? Stuff that comes out in my writing... that I don't notice. ('poser' feeling is probably related to this)

- knowing your own body

...that both need longer posts. I'm sure there are some other over-arching themes, but I need my head to be lest messed up in order to write about 'em. I'm running on emotional empty, now.

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