lOlbama used the delorean to hide the WMD! With his nazgul!

I try to make myself avoid the Slate political forums - I really do. They tend to be loud and obnoxious. Every once in awhile they redeem themselves, though, as with the three page long explanation of how all the Obama citizenship conspiracies really do fit together. Seamlessly. With nazgul.

It was long and convoluted, but this is something that American Citizens Must Know! So I'll boil it down for you:

Obama is the love child of Malcolm X, who was born in three different countries thanks to a 30 hour labor and a fast jet. His college was paid for by Al Quaida's charity arm, and he was required by them to spend decades posing as a Christian. Ayers tricked Bush out of the one ring and used the Delorean to remove the WMD and yellowcake from Iraq just prior to the 2003 invasion, and take it and Obama back in time to give Iraqi WMD to the Weather Underground (the yellowcake was nessecary to provide the 1.21 gigawatts needed to bring Obama back to the future). He's now breeding his massive Uruk Hai army, and will use them to subjugate the hobbits, who will be forced to build the Deathstar. When the code word goes out, the Nazgul will pilot the nine black helicopters over the country, striking socialism into the hearts of the brave. With the help of the white witch Michelle, it will always be winter and never Christmas.

But all is not lost! You've forgotten ABOUT ELVIS!

Elvis received a secret FBI commission from Nixon, and has been learning Kung Fu from an ancient and wizened master on an unpronounceable mountain. On January 20th, Elvis will suddenly appear on the national mall, kick ass, and bring patriotism back to America! WHILE SINGING.

Ah, political forums. Once in a great while you almost rise to the level of any given discussion in metaquotes.