Conversations at Work

"What? There's no music in jail? It's like, it's like..."
"But what about Jailhouse Rock?!"
"ELVIS WAS LYING TO US! Also, you are not a hound-dog."

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"It's like...mud racing...survivalism...how to extract water from elephant poop or something."
"Because there are a lot of elephants in Lewis County!"
"Maybe it works with cows."
"It's not very scientific, either. Just hold it above your head, squeeze it..."

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"What are the most ludicrous publicity options we could offer?"
"Hologram."
"Skywriting."
"Graphiti."
"Check box if your program deserves tagging of: A) public Building. B) overpass. C) boxcar."
"For really small programs we'll just do stopsigns."
"Maybe...tattoos?"
"Oh, I know! FLASHMOB!"