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So, I've been reading my morning Slate articles, and a few of them dealt with some feminist ponderings, or ponderings about feminism, that I've been promising to rant about for a long time. For everyone who's been living in fear of that moment, it's here - or at least the first installment is.
The Slate articles, predicatably enough, dealt with body image. Sensibly, they dealt with the apparent contradiction between being feminist and being worried about body image. They labeled it the battle between feiminism and femininity (by the by, I have insane difficulty knowing when to stop spelling that word - feminininininity). The former idea spouts that they don't care about traditional societal norms, and the later, by this articles definition, uses them, attempting to manipulate men through innocence and weakness - uselessness.
Start: Digression Text="Obesity"
Americans are obsessed with fat. We're even obsessed with our obsession about fat. Unfortunatley, like so much else, we seem completely unable to admit that a single thing can be both good and bad, or at least inhabit some grey area. Yes, the climate of anorexia and model stick-thinness that the media often trumpets is bad for mental and physical health. While we're being all PC and pointing that out, can we also admit that being 100 pounds overweight is also bad for physical health? how about 200, can we admit that? Holy shit, people, we can preach 'love your body' from a high'n'mighty feminist view as much as we like, but it's not very loving to destroy the damn things with big macs.
End Digression.
Now, I can't say that I'm feminist, but I can't precisley say I'm not. This shouldn't be suprising - I disagree in principle with labels and combing giant varied movements under one heading. I am deeply thankful for the original feminist movement, which among other things means that I can try to be an architect with only my personal deficiencies standing in my way. I am incensed at the way neo-feminism must put a spin on everything, and even more, the way it must put the blame on someone. The first revolution was about capability. The fallout is about culpability. If you gain nothing else from my little sermon to the choir, think about this - culpability and capability don't co-exist. either you spend your time blaming others, or you do something about it yourself.
I was raised to be capable. When my parents said to me 'you can do it' there was never the feminist subtext 'even though you're a woman.' You can do it because you're you. Or you can't, because of certain physical limitations. 'I think I can, I think I can' doesn't actually work - as I liked to point out to motivational speakers in middle school and highschool, all the positive thinking in the world won't help me run a mile on my gimpy right leg. My ADHD brother with the fine motor skills problems will never win a handwriting award. We all have limitations. Still, if you think you can't, you won't start. Working with your own limitations rather than those supposedly put on you by society is what feminism, to my mind, should be about. For guys and gals. Instead, it's turned into a rebellion against society.
"I choose neither conformity or rebellion. They are the paths of those who cannot handle ambiguity or conradiction." - Stephenson, 'Diamond Age'
Here's my nifty little trick - denial. I refuse to pay any attention whatsoever to what society or society's detractors want of me. Human interaction is formed in large part by expectations, and I'd rather my expectations color the world than the world's expecations color me. The world's a crappy colorist. In a very self-centered way, I do the work that I want to do, that I decide that I'm capable of. I exercise for myself, because I feel icky if I don't. Various feminists say this is a feminine lie - it's not. When I say I'm doing it for myself, I mean it.
I have been on crutches for 11 months. I know the feeling of total lack of physical power, lack of independence, and physical uslessness far better than most, and I know that I don't like it. Being reasonably fit is empowering. Look at me, kids - I can walk. In the same manner, I suppose my odd take on many things feminine does come from personal medical history - my body image issues were never face, breast size, or butt size. With around 14 scars and no shape whatever on one leg, all that other stuff seemed, well, kinda secondary. 'Sexy' was a goal for other people, because I've never seen the point of putting a ton of effort into something unacheivable. Note well- the guys in my life had nothing to do with this! In point of fact, most people are less aware of it than I think, and all of my male friends have tried to dissuade me. It took a little more than normal persusasion, but I am starting to come round. Thats why, in a highly unfeminist way, I see pretty lingerie as being more liberating than constraining to some male ideal - because I never thought I could pull it off before, and I'm happy knowing that actually, yes, I have the option.
Meaning to say, we are shaped by our individual experiences. Blaming society doesn't honestly get us anywhere - looking to ourselves, our realities, even more importantly, to our goals is what does. Toeing the party line - on fat, on feminisme, what have you - is a way out of thinking about individual issues. Stop blaming people, and start working for the world you want. Insert other platitudes here, because it's now time for my breakfast.
The Slate articles, predicatably enough, dealt with body image. Sensibly, they dealt with the apparent contradiction between being feminist and being worried about body image. They labeled it the battle between feiminism and femininity (by the by, I have insane difficulty knowing when to stop spelling that word - feminininininity). The former idea spouts that they don't care about traditional societal norms, and the later, by this articles definition, uses them, attempting to manipulate men through innocence and weakness - uselessness.
Start: Digression Text="Obesity"
Americans are obsessed with fat. We're even obsessed with our obsession about fat. Unfortunatley, like so much else, we seem completely unable to admit that a single thing can be both good and bad, or at least inhabit some grey area. Yes, the climate of anorexia and model stick-thinness that the media often trumpets is bad for mental and physical health. While we're being all PC and pointing that out, can we also admit that being 100 pounds overweight is also bad for physical health? how about 200, can we admit that? Holy shit, people, we can preach 'love your body' from a high'n'mighty feminist view as much as we like, but it's not very loving to destroy the damn things with big macs.
End Digression.
Now, I can't say that I'm feminist, but I can't precisley say I'm not. This shouldn't be suprising - I disagree in principle with labels and combing giant varied movements under one heading. I am deeply thankful for the original feminist movement, which among other things means that I can try to be an architect with only my personal deficiencies standing in my way. I am incensed at the way neo-feminism must put a spin on everything, and even more, the way it must put the blame on someone. The first revolution was about capability. The fallout is about culpability. If you gain nothing else from my little sermon to the choir, think about this - culpability and capability don't co-exist. either you spend your time blaming others, or you do something about it yourself.
I was raised to be capable. When my parents said to me 'you can do it' there was never the feminist subtext 'even though you're a woman.' You can do it because you're you. Or you can't, because of certain physical limitations. 'I think I can, I think I can' doesn't actually work - as I liked to point out to motivational speakers in middle school and highschool, all the positive thinking in the world won't help me run a mile on my gimpy right leg. My ADHD brother with the fine motor skills problems will never win a handwriting award. We all have limitations. Still, if you think you can't, you won't start. Working with your own limitations rather than those supposedly put on you by society is what feminism, to my mind, should be about. For guys and gals. Instead, it's turned into a rebellion against society.
"I choose neither conformity or rebellion. They are the paths of those who cannot handle ambiguity or conradiction." - Stephenson, 'Diamond Age'
Here's my nifty little trick - denial. I refuse to pay any attention whatsoever to what society or society's detractors want of me. Human interaction is formed in large part by expectations, and I'd rather my expectations color the world than the world's expecations color me. The world's a crappy colorist. In a very self-centered way, I do the work that I want to do, that I decide that I'm capable of. I exercise for myself, because I feel icky if I don't. Various feminists say this is a feminine lie - it's not. When I say I'm doing it for myself, I mean it.
I have been on crutches for 11 months. I know the feeling of total lack of physical power, lack of independence, and physical uslessness far better than most, and I know that I don't like it. Being reasonably fit is empowering. Look at me, kids - I can walk. In the same manner, I suppose my odd take on many things feminine does come from personal medical history - my body image issues were never face, breast size, or butt size. With around 14 scars and no shape whatever on one leg, all that other stuff seemed, well, kinda secondary. 'Sexy' was a goal for other people, because I've never seen the point of putting a ton of effort into something unacheivable. Note well- the guys in my life had nothing to do with this! In point of fact, most people are less aware of it than I think, and all of my male friends have tried to dissuade me. It took a little more than normal persusasion, but I am starting to come round. Thats why, in a highly unfeminist way, I see pretty lingerie as being more liberating than constraining to some male ideal - because I never thought I could pull it off before, and I'm happy knowing that actually, yes, I have the option.
Meaning to say, we are shaped by our individual experiences. Blaming society doesn't honestly get us anywhere - looking to ourselves, our realities, even more importantly, to our goals is what does. Toeing the party line - on fat, on feminisme, what have you - is a way out of thinking about individual issues. Stop blaming people, and start working for the world you want. Insert other platitudes here, because it's now time for my breakfast.
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no subject
Date: 2005-02-12 08:59 pm (UTC)From:I am in awe that is is possible. It is really cool that you got to experience that and I am tickled pink that your generation is growing up in such an egalitarian environment that a critique of second wave feminism is possible. I'm not much older than you, but I did grow up in rural kansas where patriarchy is still strong. So I am not bashful in telling people I am a feminist. I am a feminist. More and more people I've met out here on the west coast don't like that word. I think the dialogue about what feminism means is good, though. And from my point of view the goals of feminism are equality and cooperation, so I have a lot in common with self-proclaimed non-feminist people who believe in equality and cooperation among people.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-12 11:57 pm (UTC)From:Location certainly has a lot to do with it, and so do individual families. I was raised in a really egalitarian way. I have a friend who was raised /very/ neo feminist, and it limited her - we had to teach her that guys were people, too. She saw sexism in every situation.
If I thought that current feminism was about eqality and cooporation, I'd call myself a feminist. Some of it still is, but the people who do the loudest shouting seem to have forgotten that. I'm glad you differentiate between old feminism and 2nd wave feminism - after all, as far as my right to vote and work in my chosen field are concerned, I'm a feminist through and through! The fact that we can even be having this conversation is a good thing.
To use vaguelly applicable historical metaphors, I was for the revolution, but against the following reign of terror.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-12 10:53 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2005-02-13 06:30 am (UTC)From:Bah and fie, the idea that strength and femininininity are mutually exclusive. I've often seen neo"F"eminism as self-defeating, as it alienates the very people it is needing to address (like many "progressive" movements)
Screw the labels, but really, I guess I'm a Peoplist.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-13 06:34 am (UTC)From:You're right - I'd forgotten about it, but it is true of a lot of movements. the people the movement should really be for get bitten by the hardline vocal minority. Hence, I choose neither conformity or rebellion...
no subject
Date: 2005-02-14 01:45 am (UTC)From:I'm an Istist.
Give me a label machine and I'll go wild
Date: 2005-02-14 05:44 am (UTC)From:o say that I am annoyed by the neo-feminist movement does not come near the strength of my feelings about the whole thing.
However, I am not willing to give up the title... I guess for me there is something in a name. (I ought to mention that I label my mother a feminist too... despite her rather predictable shock. Hehehe, totally worth it!)
Re: Give me a label machine and I'll go wild
Date: 2005-02-15 06:05 pm (UTC)From:Y'know, kiddo...
Date: 2005-02-15 06:07 pm (UTC)From:Re: Y'know, kiddo...
Date: 2005-02-15 08:28 pm (UTC)From: