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I've been dealing with a lot of constant, non-acute stressors for months, which pop out every once in awhile and become acute until I manage to ignore them again. Last night was one of those evenings where I realized just how much crap I was dealing with. Today is one of the days when I freaking deal with it.
FIRST! I edited and published the last real chapter of my Fanfic epic A Star to Steer Her By, which means that my last two chapters were posted a week apart -- a return to my old schedule and a huge relief after half a year of once-a-month-if-that updating that left me feeling guilty and writing-avoidant. All I have left to finish is the short epilogue, and with the high of the Triumphant Conclusion behind me, that'll be easy.
SECOND! I applied to play at the NW Folklife Festival on behalf of my trio, Pinniped! This is something we've wanted to do for a long time, but we didn't think we were ready for it -- until we saw some truly bad acts last year. We didn't do our demo recording until the 18th of November. Then there were holidays; then I was ill. Today was The Deadline. I took charge, got the info from bandmates last night, and turned that sucker in. LIKE A BOSS.
THIRD: As most of you know, my biggest stressor has been my inability to rent out my third bedroom, which has been vacant since last December. I try, really try, not to think about 4800 in lost income, but it has seriously changed my financial situation. To make matters far, far more stressful, I had a tenant sign a lease in September, leave some personal belongings here, and then fail to take possession and drop out of communication. She communicated again briefly once in early October and promised to pay me a small amount and pick up her stuff; I haven't heard from her again. Every time I look at that room I see a pile of this flake's crap, and feel guilty for not somehow dealing with this problem, if only persistently communicating and making myself a legal paper trail. Last night I unloaded atdad my lawyer, and he suggested starting a record of all communication and leaving messages on once weekly basis until I had at LEAST a months worth of attempts, at which point I can threaten to dispose of her stuff.
This is the kind of thing I've known I should be doing, but it's the kind of thing I dread -- not so much the confrontation as that I have to think about this huge failure, the financial issues, etc. BUT: Buoyed by folklife and writing accomplishments, I started that record today, and while digging I found out that more of our communication was by text than I'd remembered -- in other words, I DO have an almost complete record! I also contacted her more regularly than I thought I had -- I was feeling guilty about being stress-avoidant when I wasn't really doing it.
I've written out the record and emailed her again, and it feels great. No, none of this solves the actual problem -- I'm still down financially, I still don't have a single lead on a tenant, and my spare room still has someone else's crap in it -- but it helps the guilt. I feel better knowing I've done something.
Now, for my next trick! DOING THE DAMN DISHES!
FIRST! I edited and published the last real chapter of my Fanfic epic A Star to Steer Her By, which means that my last two chapters were posted a week apart -- a return to my old schedule and a huge relief after half a year of once-a-month-if-that updating that left me feeling guilty and writing-avoidant. All I have left to finish is the short epilogue, and with the high of the Triumphant Conclusion behind me, that'll be easy.
SECOND! I applied to play at the NW Folklife Festival on behalf of my trio, Pinniped! This is something we've wanted to do for a long time, but we didn't think we were ready for it -- until we saw some truly bad acts last year. We didn't do our demo recording until the 18th of November. Then there were holidays; then I was ill. Today was The Deadline. I took charge, got the info from bandmates last night, and turned that sucker in. LIKE A BOSS.
THIRD: As most of you know, my biggest stressor has been my inability to rent out my third bedroom, which has been vacant since last December. I try, really try, not to think about 4800 in lost income, but it has seriously changed my financial situation. To make matters far, far more stressful, I had a tenant sign a lease in September, leave some personal belongings here, and then fail to take possession and drop out of communication. She communicated again briefly once in early October and promised to pay me a small amount and pick up her stuff; I haven't heard from her again. Every time I look at that room I see a pile of this flake's crap, and feel guilty for not somehow dealing with this problem, if only persistently communicating and making myself a legal paper trail. Last night I unloaded at
This is the kind of thing I've known I should be doing, but it's the kind of thing I dread -- not so much the confrontation as that I have to think about this huge failure, the financial issues, etc. BUT: Buoyed by folklife and writing accomplishments, I started that record today, and while digging I found out that more of our communication was by text than I'd remembered -- in other words, I DO have an almost complete record! I also contacted her more regularly than I thought I had -- I was feeling guilty about being stress-avoidant when I wasn't really doing it.
I've written out the record and emailed her again, and it feels great. No, none of this solves the actual problem -- I'm still down financially, I still don't have a single lead on a tenant, and my spare room still has someone else's crap in it -- but it helps the guilt. I feel better knowing I've done something.
Now, for my next trick! DOING THE DAMN DISHES!
