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I haven't posted here, or really added much to the greater internet jumble lately. There've been an abundance of other things to keep me occupied -- there was the Folklife festival, I had houseguests for a bit over a week, my band continues to practice and played an open mic recently, and I wired my house for Ethernet and built-in audio, added outlets, finished the studio wiring, and sound insulated. I have an electrical inspection (hopefully tomorrow, but they won't promise) and I'm working on drywall shims with the plan of hanging wallboard weekend after father's day.
I've fallen woefully behind on my writing, and it only occasionally snags my interest. Sometimes I feel bad about that and sometimes I don't. Today I'm walking the thin line of a glum mood, so I feel rather bad about it. But my studio has been coming along nicely, and I feel pretty good about most of that! (I do NOT feel good about the quote for attic insulation I received this morning, but that's it).
I'm also working on a freelance design project, at least in theory. In actuality I find it really hard to make myself sit down and work on it, and I know this is because I lack faith in my own ability to make anything decent and I'm afraid of failure. Like, that's it. I want to make something excellent and don't think I will and so I don't want to do it. But knowing that's the block isn't helping me get past the block.
Hell, there's probably some of that in my writing issues, too (the ones not due to pure busy-ness or the lure of Dwarf Fortress. Actually it's probably a factor in wasting time spent on Dwarf Fortress). It seems like it's always a factor -- and one of the reasons I'm feeling good about the studio at the moment is that I pushed past a lot of those 'I'll fuck this up' feelings and cut holes in my house and ran wires and things and was successful at it. I know I just need to DO this, too, same thing, but actually putting that into effect is hard.
Oh and this weekend I totally dropped a hammer on my head cause I was an idiot and left it on top of the ladder and mom told me please don't do that as she already has one brain damaged child, thanks, and... yeah. Things with my brother are still tense with a capital T and several exclamation points, though he HAS collected his first paycheck at a job, so yay! ...but then he threw a giant flaming shit fit on the day we were going to have a celebratory dinner, so my folks cancelled it because they didn't feel like cooking him steak after he'd yelled at them for ten minutes.
Hmph. Dealing with weird sleep caused by sudden onset allergy funtimes hasn't been helping me any, so emergency chocolate measures may be called for.
I've fallen woefully behind on my writing, and it only occasionally snags my interest. Sometimes I feel bad about that and sometimes I don't. Today I'm walking the thin line of a glum mood, so I feel rather bad about it. But my studio has been coming along nicely, and I feel pretty good about most of that! (I do NOT feel good about the quote for attic insulation I received this morning, but that's it).
I'm also working on a freelance design project, at least in theory. In actuality I find it really hard to make myself sit down and work on it, and I know this is because I lack faith in my own ability to make anything decent and I'm afraid of failure. Like, that's it. I want to make something excellent and don't think I will and so I don't want to do it. But knowing that's the block isn't helping me get past the block.
Hell, there's probably some of that in my writing issues, too (the ones not due to pure busy-ness or the lure of Dwarf Fortress. Actually it's probably a factor in wasting time spent on Dwarf Fortress). It seems like it's always a factor -- and one of the reasons I'm feeling good about the studio at the moment is that I pushed past a lot of those 'I'll fuck this up' feelings and cut holes in my house and ran wires and things and was successful at it. I know I just need to DO this, too, same thing, but actually putting that into effect is hard.
Oh and this weekend I totally dropped a hammer on my head cause I was an idiot and left it on top of the ladder and mom told me please don't do that as she already has one brain damaged child, thanks, and... yeah. Things with my brother are still tense with a capital T and several exclamation points, though he HAS collected his first paycheck at a job, so yay! ...but then he threw a giant flaming shit fit on the day we were going to have a celebratory dinner, so my folks cancelled it because they didn't feel like cooking him steak after he'd yelled at them for ten minutes.
Hmph. Dealing with weird sleep caused by sudden onset allergy funtimes hasn't been helping me any, so emergency chocolate measures may be called for.
