Bic's new 'For Her' pens are earning amazing reviews!

[cross-posted from tumblr because it just amuses me that much]

Reviewers at Amazon.uk are out-doing themselves, from regency:

After several dreadful evenings in the company of Mr. Clive Hawthorn II in a vain attempt to appease my wise, winsome, but dreadfully nosy mother, I sat right down at my desk to jot a firm but heartfelt message to her stating my negative feelings of the gentleman in question. You can imagine my surprise, nay, abject horror!; upon realizing that the pen I had chosen for this particular task happened to be of a grotesque and manly sort - entirely inappropriate for ladies of distinction. Why, if that rotten Mabel Steadman heard of this embarrassment she would have my head right there on the platter between the pudding and the roast during our next dinner party. I’ll tell you now I threw a horrible fit, behaved like an fool and a spoiled child and I’ll regret it until I die, until I simply die! I ought to be spanked right out in the portico. (J Chesbro)

to the modern…

With these pens, I anticipate that I can achieve the same rewards that men have. I will be able to look after my own reproductive rights. Relieve myself in dark corners. Marry a woman. Share in the financial repercussions of pregnancy and child rearing. Be heard in scientific and business conferences. Wear one simple outfit with a few changes of tie and shirt and never worry again about being called promiscuous or uptight. Walk down the street and be confident that I am safe. Go to any school in any part of the world. And, Mom, I feel fresh, too! (Andrea Coutu)

to the man’s side:

I bought this pen (in error, evidently) to write my reports of each day’s tree felling activities in my job as a lumberjack. It is no good. It slips from between my calloused, gnarly fingers like a gossamer thread gently descending to earth between two giant redwood trunks.(daveyclayton)

and my favorite:

Despite the hype, and the colour, and the talk of buttons and tips moving in and out, this was the worst dildo ever. (Shiela)

And as a facebook friend of mine said, "I guess now we can "flick her Bic" more successfully... (though) I guess now it is more socially acceptable for women to flick their own bics instead of a man doing it for them."

That's it, I think I have to be done with CL housing.

I'm not sure I'll keep posting my spare room on craigslist. It's always worked before -- I found three housemates that way, and they were all just great. One of them lived with me for over two years.

This year it's been nothing but a pain in the ass. I've had a few genuine bites with real people on the other end of the email that all didn't pan out for one reason or another (most of 'em were okay, if flaky) but the most common responses are scammers.

For those that aren't aware, someone responding to a craigslist add doesn't see your info until you respond back, so I usually do a bit of pre-screening and just don't answer some messages. I've also finally added an email address I don't use for anything else.

The thing that really pisses me off is that all the scammers say they're foreign, looking to move to the area. It makes me angry because I really, really don't want to deny someone who's *actually* from another country or a non-native english speaker a place to live -- travel is awesome and I have a lot more experience working around language barriers than most people I know! -- but it's gotten to the point where I see "I'm from X" and I think "You are not real."

The first one in the pattern asked really fricking weird questions and gave reference email addresses, which showed up as a scammer when googled. The most recent one I might not have caught ("I'm from Spain, living in haiti, and...") except that the next day I replied to a very simple "Hey, is it still available?" and got back an almost word-for-word identical "I'm from the UK, living in Luxembourg."

[Pointer to the person claiming to live in Luxembourg: there is no fucking way I believe you're at a major western european university and do not have phone access. Pull the other one, it's got bells on. Miss Haiti was a waaaay smarter scammer.]

Anyway.

Only having one housemate for awhile isn't dire, but it's already been 8 months, and it's a slow leak. Time to start looking for places to put up ads in town, I think.