Quick thoughts on the Hobbit

[shadesofmauve]

I just got back from the Hobbit. E took me, after I'd had a long and mostly-marvelous day out at the coast spying on snowy owls, and returned exhausted to discover my washing machine is broken (the new tenant has been in two weeks, and first his heater broke and the washer... I'm afraid he'll think I lied about the state of my house). Given all that, have a bulleted things-as-I-thought-them list instead of any kind of proper review!

• I love that dwarves express their individuality via facial hair. This is good.
• Actually all the dwarves look awesome, with the exception of Bombur, but he was the screw-up in the books too.
• Oh THOSE are the fashion-model dwarves. More acceptance for dwarven glamor!
• YES YES PLATE JUGGLING. The plate juggling is an -e perhaps the -- essential part of the book.
• OMG one of the dwarves is wearing a sweater vest.
• PONIES. <3
• BIRD SHIT!
• RABBITS! (I've had rabbits, they should run like that for a few yards and then plop over on their sides panting in total abandon).
• It is always the golden hour in Rivendell.
• Tolkien never said elves were vegetarian. Yes, changes were made for the movie. This is the one that bothers me. Go figure. (Actually, everything about Rivendell in Jackson's view is a bit too 'aloof high culture' and not enough 'comfortable house party'; the melancholy harp music didn't really come out until Aragorn was mooning after Arwen, really. Those crazy kids).
• What madness is this? I'm actually liking Hugo Weaving's Elrond! There's just a bit more emotion, a bit more warmth, and a bit more sense of the every-day person. He doesn't come across as a totally unlikeable distant prig.
• Nope, still don't like the portrayal of Galadriel. Speaking of every-day person, she doesn't exist in an every day version. Possibly because she can't move her arms.
• Yes I know she holds Gandalf's hands. Notice how it's in closeup, and you never see her body in that shot? THOSE ARE STUNT HANDS.
• I actually like all the council-ish bits Jackson added; they work well to tie the two stories together and place it in the over-all mythos.
• The rock giant fight is appropriately ponderous.
• I'm really done with people falling improbably long distances, bouncing off of obstructions, and landing effectively unhurt. Directors, this goes for ALL OF YOU. It was always ridiculous, but it is now ridiculous and ubiquitous, and has no emotional or adrenal impact whatsoever. Jackson used it three times in the space of half an hour. ENOUGH ALREADY. Either make it a short drop -- which is plenty scary if you're the one dropping -- or have someone get a severe spinal injury, deadly internal bruising, and brain damage.
• Note to self: If you ever go on an adventure, see if there's some kind of shoulder/chest harness or bandaging you can wear to reduce the likelihood of a dislocated shoulder. It is apparently a requirement of any adventure that one or more members of your party will at some point be dangling by one arm over a ridiculous height, and another member of the party will be holding them up, also with one arm. THIS COULD BE YOU. Plan accordingly. [the previously mentioned total-immunity-to-falls is apparently not in play under these circumstances].
• I swear I thought the Pale Orc's subtitles were going to say "To be continued....!" but no, it looks like there's fifteen minutes more movie.
• Yes, they are and always were plot-holes on wings, and even Tolkien admitted they were too powerful and using them harmed the story, but surely everyone can agree that giant eagles are awesome. Though if you were actually to sit astride a giant eagle's neck, your legs would go down through the feathers, not out around the outside of them. Bird necks are skinny. (I spent most of the day looking at snowy owls, okay? Things like this stick out).
• Red-tailed hawks should really get more love. LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE RED TAIL HAWKS: The voice actors for every movie eagle ever! Someday I'm going to write a story that prominently features the under-appreciated Red Tail. Yes, they're common all over North America. Yes, they're not as big or flashy as eagles, or small and pretty as kestrels. Red Tails are still awesome birds. AND AVIAN VOICE ACTORS. Come on!
• Aaaand hugs for everybody aaaand cut.
• Wow, I like Martin Freeman's Bilbo way better than Elijah Wood's Frodo.

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