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Writing all this out is actually being super helpful; so thank you. That said, I know it's a lot, and probably uncomfortable at times; would anyone like me to create a filter so I can screen out people who'd rather not read these? I'm happy to.
That out of the way...
Apparently when I thought my brother took himself to the doctor and got himself medicated I was being too optimistic.
He actually took himself straight from my BF's work to the home of some family friends, who are absolutely lovely, wonderful, caring, people (whose son killed himself so oh gods they're a little sensitive), and they brought him to the ER, where they held him just long enough to contact his doctor, check his *existing* scrip, and refill his meds... which apparently he's been on this whole time up until he packed them in a random box when he was in Ellensburg and didn't bother unpacking them for five days.
You all know going off anti depressants suddenly is a BAD IDEA, right? BAD IDEA. Apparently with his (I don't know which it is), rather than serious depression on withdrawal, it's extreme mood swings. When dad ran from work early to pick him up at the ER, he found a totally bubbly, chipper, "problem, what problem?" son, who doesn't acknowledge that any of that was bad or even unfortunate.
So no new step towards self awareness, no new medication. Just someone who swore up and down they'd unpacked their boxes and couldn't find their drugs, despite multiple boxes that were still taped closed in the pile he said he'd checked.
(Let's be clear, here. I know depression. I have it, my mom has it, at least one aunt and possibly both grandparents on that side have it. I don't discount the massive effects of depression in any way. That's not all that's going on here.)
This is not his first visit to the ER. Hypochondria seems to be on the list of issues, and he'll call me or my parents 10 times a day with random shit, but NOT call when he decides he's having a serious medical malady and could use actual advice -- instead he goes to the ER. Including for chronic, non-acute problems caused by his prescription, when he has the personal email address of the prescribing doctor.
One of the times it was heartburn, for fuck's sake.
He's been told in no uncertain terms that he has to ask before using my parents' beater car, and that it's available to help him look for work and get to his odd jobs. Today he drove it to Seattle to visit his girlfriend without asking at all. Tomorrow it's not going to have a part in it when he goes to start it up, because there are too many spare sets of keys laying around to make taking them away an easy option. And I don't really want to know that, but there it is -- I was at my parents' to plan work times with dad on my project and to rehearse, and that means being in the middle of whatever recent drama my brother created, including my parents fighting because dad forgot to tell mom that bro stopped by my BF's work with his emotional upheaval, so she 'had to hear it from me' a whole 24 hours later (she's afraid that dad goes too soft on him; dad recognizes that being bitter all the time doesn't actually HELP, and besides, he was a bit preoccupied with the whole 'ER' thing. And so it goes).
This is actually normal when my brother is home. Either he's fighting with, or the cause of a fight between, my parents. This is why I moved out, instead of living rent free and saving my pennies, which my folks were perfectly happy to let me do.
All that said:
It doesn't change how I need to behave. I texted him this morning and invited him over for a few hours this weekend, and I've got a little bit of work I can trust him to do and can pay him for.
It just still sucks -- but it's sucked for years in pretty much the same ways. Everyone's even more tired of it now, is all.
That out of the way...
Apparently when I thought my brother took himself to the doctor and got himself medicated I was being too optimistic.
He actually took himself straight from my BF's work to the home of some family friends, who are absolutely lovely, wonderful, caring, people (whose son killed himself so oh gods they're a little sensitive), and they brought him to the ER, where they held him just long enough to contact his doctor, check his *existing* scrip, and refill his meds... which apparently he's been on this whole time up until he packed them in a random box when he was in Ellensburg and didn't bother unpacking them for five days.
You all know going off anti depressants suddenly is a BAD IDEA, right? BAD IDEA. Apparently with his (I don't know which it is), rather than serious depression on withdrawal, it's extreme mood swings. When dad ran from work early to pick him up at the ER, he found a totally bubbly, chipper, "problem, what problem?" son, who doesn't acknowledge that any of that was bad or even unfortunate.
So no new step towards self awareness, no new medication. Just someone who swore up and down they'd unpacked their boxes and couldn't find their drugs, despite multiple boxes that were still taped closed in the pile he said he'd checked.
(Let's be clear, here. I know depression. I have it, my mom has it, at least one aunt and possibly both grandparents on that side have it. I don't discount the massive effects of depression in any way. That's not all that's going on here.)
This is not his first visit to the ER. Hypochondria seems to be on the list of issues, and he'll call me or my parents 10 times a day with random shit, but NOT call when he decides he's having a serious medical malady and could use actual advice -- instead he goes to the ER. Including for chronic, non-acute problems caused by his prescription, when he has the personal email address of the prescribing doctor.
One of the times it was heartburn, for fuck's sake.
He's been told in no uncertain terms that he has to ask before using my parents' beater car, and that it's available to help him look for work and get to his odd jobs. Today he drove it to Seattle to visit his girlfriend without asking at all. Tomorrow it's not going to have a part in it when he goes to start it up, because there are too many spare sets of keys laying around to make taking them away an easy option. And I don't really want to know that, but there it is -- I was at my parents' to plan work times with dad on my project and to rehearse, and that means being in the middle of whatever recent drama my brother created, including my parents fighting because dad forgot to tell mom that bro stopped by my BF's work with his emotional upheaval, so she 'had to hear it from me' a whole 24 hours later (she's afraid that dad goes too soft on him; dad recognizes that being bitter all the time doesn't actually HELP, and besides, he was a bit preoccupied with the whole 'ER' thing. And so it goes).
This is actually normal when my brother is home. Either he's fighting with, or the cause of a fight between, my parents. This is why I moved out, instead of living rent free and saving my pennies, which my folks were perfectly happy to let me do.
All that said:
It doesn't change how I need to behave. I texted him this morning and invited him over for a few hours this weekend, and I've got a little bit of work I can trust him to do and can pay him for.
It just still sucks -- but it's sucked for years in pretty much the same ways. Everyone's even more tired of it now, is all.
