For the last few weeks I've been able to feel the nagging, insiduous depression-monster every-other day or so. I've been fending it off, and it's pretty obvious - dude, that's chemistry thinking - and if it's obvious, it's not bad.
But it's grey, I gave the car a flat because I'm stupid, there are no cuddles, I was offered the schedule I wan't and can't afford to take it, and Marik and Vaer are having a fight in my head. About his (multiple?) bastard children. How come the love story in my head usually skips the snoogling and goes right to drama? (without going right to plot, which makes actually writing it more difficult).
Actually, observing the whole mars/venus* thing is really pretty entertaining, mostly because I totally know where both sides are coming from, and it's like watching ships pass in the fog. At high speed. Repeatedly. And one of them is a zippy zodiac raft crewed by a drunk monkey.
I stayed awake for hours again last night
searching for a reason to keep up the fight
I've made choices that I don't regret but
I've got problems I don't get
Let's wait one more day for the conversation
One more day to make it right
Let's get away from the confrontation
One more day just buying time
*Not just sexist stereotypes - there's a really big class discrepency and some culture shock going on too (see, I'd never abandon my belief that both genders are capable of being perfectly reasonable**).
**This doesn't mean that any given individual of either gender is capable of being reasonable, though.
But it's grey, I gave the car a flat because I'm stupid, there are no cuddles, I was offered the schedule I wan't and can't afford to take it, and Marik and Vaer are having a fight in my head. About his (multiple?) bastard children. How come the love story in my head usually skips the snoogling and goes right to drama? (without going right to plot, which makes actually writing it more difficult).
Actually, observing the whole mars/venus* thing is really pretty entertaining, mostly because I totally know where both sides are coming from, and it's like watching ships pass in the fog. At high speed. Repeatedly. And one of them is a zippy zodiac raft crewed by a drunk monkey.
I stayed awake for hours again last night
searching for a reason to keep up the fight
I've made choices that I don't regret but
I've got problems I don't get
Let's wait one more day for the conversation
One more day to make it right
Let's get away from the confrontation
One more day just buying time
*Not just sexist stereotypes - there's a really big class discrepency and some culture shock going on too (see, I'd never abandon my belief that both genders are capable of being perfectly reasonable**).
**This doesn't mean that any given individual of either gender is capable of being reasonable, though.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-03 09:36 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2007-01-04 12:45 am (UTC)From:I'm eagerly awaiting level four and my aminal (chose to wait until lvl 4 so I'd have a beefier aminal).