Days of Shades

Very brief update:

Still have cough, but it's better.

Pinniped has three gigs next weekend.

The following paragraph is one I want saved because it perfectly describes what's going on with my brother:

MOTIVATED OR DEFENSIVE DELUSIONS. Some predisposed persons might suffer the onset of an ongoing delusional disorder when coping with life and maintaining high self-esteem becomes a significant challenge. In order to preserve a positive view of oneself, a person views others as the cause of personal difficulties that may occur. This can then become an ingrained pattern of thought.

Read more: http://www.minddisorders.com/Br-Del/Delusional-disorder.html#ixzz3U7l436FS

I'm still ill. Weekend before last my 'never-ending hacking cough + fatigue' symptoms changed to 'full on congestion and headache'. It started draining within a few days, but I haven't been able to smell anything since sometime last week -- even when my nose seems clear.

The fact that anosmia can occasionally be permanent after a bad respiratory infection is frankly terrifying. No sense of smell means I can't taste things.

2014 was a bit of a roller coaster. I did a HUGE amount of work on my house, but I didn’t finish my remodel (I’d honestly thought, in early spring, that I might move into the studio by autumn). My band played some great gigs and made some big improvements, but we also had to cancel to really exciting gigs because I broke a finger. I broke a finger. My neighbor staged the Terrific Goat Mystery, aka Goatdorf. I did recording for a thing that’s now an album! I drug E to my mom’s parents’ place in southern coastal Oregon for the first time. I coped with a few unsuitable-for-tumblr (i.e., involving other people whose issues are not mine to share) crises in an adult way, and while that was exceedingly difficult, I’m proud of myself. I filled up my sketchbook in a year, instead of the two it’s been taking me. I practiced and improved both my guitar and my voice. I wrote, including coming up with original fic seeds.

And I tracked it all.

The ‘Creativity Tracking Log’ spreadsheet that I started on a whim last New Year’s Day survived, against all odds, the entire year. It didn’t transform me into a perfectly productive monster, but it helped — sometimes in ways I wasn’t expecting. Not only did having a little color-change reward help motivate me to do more regular practice, but the diligent recording of both creative practice and really good excuses helped ameliorate the occasional depressive bouts. One common symptom of my down periods is looking back at my last day or week or month and berating myself for ‘not doing anything.’ With a fairly objective record of what I’d actually done always to hand, I couldn’t do that. Depression could not use that particular lie.

I still had a lot of times when I felt I should have done more, or more often, WISHED I could have done more… but it was easier to see where that was reasonable and the many times where it wasn’t. It was easier to balance the bad with the good, since I had it right there to look at. That’s a benefit that I’d never considered and deeply appreciate.

For me, this descriptive tracking seems to be a better tool than prescriptive goals or rules (like ‘don’t break the chain’ or word-a-day minimums). I’m absurdly thankful that I stumbled on the word-tracking spreadsheet that was my log’s genesis — THANK YOU, professional author who’s name I don’t remember!

I’ll post about the actual numbers later, but I suspect that’s only really interesting to me, while the ‘how it worked’… well, that might just help someone else, somehow.

I’m starting a new sheet for 2015, naturally!

One of the recurring headaches in my remodeling project is the question of what to do about the attic ventilation baffles. See, I’m only adding 240 square feet of space, but the remodel permit requires me to bring the rest of the attic insulation up to current code — which I’m quite happy to do! I like to be cozy and not throw my money at the utility company! It has this one difficult aspect, though.

Blowing in insulation requires baffles — cardboard or cheapo plastic, doesn’t matter — up between the trusses to keep an air path from the eave to the ridge free of insulation.

Almost all of the ones my house had have fallen down, and have ot be replaced.

There are 30 of these things (my little house is actually quite well ventilated on the intake side of things! Now, if I had more outflow vents that might actually do something!).

I have a plane-jane boring 1960 ranch house. You know the kind. Single story rectangle, roof pitches of 3 or 4 in twelve? That means that in the place where you need to get to install the baffles, you’re looking at a foot between the joists and the roof. A foot to manipulate yourself, the baffle,and your tools.

Did I mention the roofing nails go all the way through and come out the bottom of the sheathing to stab you in the head? They do that.

So I’d finally given up on this insane prospect and decided I’d pay someone to do it for me, but my first quote arrived and…

1. they want almost as much as I paid the (highly skilled) electricians to replace the panel/weatherhead/grounding.

2. the estimator says they’ll do it by stapling cardboard to the bottom of the trusses rather than putting them up IN the trusses (to allow more insulation cover over the top-plate), which is wrong wrong wrong wrong according to every energy efficiency and ventilation source I’ve looked at, and specifically not what I asked for.

I’m really hoping the next estimator is better — at least if you’re going to charge a grand do the damn thing right! — but if not, I’m back to figuring out how to do it myself.

The actual project'll wait 'til it cools off this fall, I suppose. I can dread it quietly until then.

On Tuesday electricians came and replaced my electrical panel, all the cabling from the panel up to the weatherhead, and the weatherhead. They also fixed all but one of the little things I needed to do, like sinking the ground stakes a few inches farther and getting a cable clamp for the exterior outlet. It was awesome! ...I have to pay them a lot of money now, but it was awesome.

Calliope got very confused when the guy was under the house bonding to the water line. Where is that voice coming from? She's not a stupid cat; SHE knows voices don't come from the floor! So instead she looked in the reasonable places, like 'under the baseboard heater' and 'behind the shelf'. Y'know, places where a grown human male could conceivably hide. :P

Friday the electrical work got all inspected and I had a lovely visit with N, an older long-time musician friend of mine who's been struggling for awhile with not being able to play as much. She gave me a few pointers on a song she used to perform that I want to work up on my tenor -- the ostensible reason I went over -- but mostly we just had a nice visit.

I'd planned Saturday to be quiet, and full of writing and art, but I kinda forgot that my brother had promised me yard work for my birthday. When mom got fed up with him she brought him over, and since he was there and I really needed a plant moved (which gets more dangerous for the plant as spring progresses), we started in -- at 4 p.m. In the rain. The plant is six feet tall, my yarden is full of tree roots, and it took us three hours. In the mud. Now I'm just crossing my fingers that the darned thing lives.

Sunday dad came over and he started the last new circuit (240 to run floor heat) while I worked on low voltage. A lot of the day was spent buying stuff, but I've got the first two speaker wires cut and run, and the studio ethernet. By the end of the day I was tuckered and E and I bailed on the dinner I'd planned on making and went to the Thai House. I should be avoiding that kind of expense, but damn, I didn't want to stand up for another hour in the kitchen (and the Thai House is delicious).

It's really pretty exciting -- Dad's going to be gone or unavailable for the next three weekends, but there's a lot of work for me to do. I have to put up the rest of the heater circuit (he did the scary panel bit); cut holes for boxes for speakers and ethernet in the living room and ethernet in each bedroom; measure, cut, and run the cat6; and... damn, I think there was something else. That's enough for now, though. I've never actually fished wire through a wall, and cutting holes in the rooms that are finished is always exciting. And it involves wading through attic insulation! Always a fun time.

Oh, and brother and I also restacked the whole drywall pile this weekend. Twice.

I had a really productive weekend, especially when you consider that westrider came down, so there was good visiting and I still managed to get things done (mostly because Westrider is Westrider and helped me with a space!tactics writing issue and didn't mind chatting while I was painting). It was a really good visit, too.

Between a highly productive Friday and some painting time while discussing tacts w/ Westrider (multitasking! W00t!) I finally got a solid start on my sheep commission, painted the numbers on my long-abandoned mailbox (which I'd been avoiding because freehanding 'em is awful) and poked at our pathfinder minis.

I'm still in 'struggling to catch up' mode rather than 'managing to keep pace' or, dream of dreams, 'getting ahead', but at least there's still movement. I'm not feeling terribly motivated, but I'm not as burnt out as I was two weeks ago.

Next weekend is the one before St. Patrick's day, so Saturday will be spent at a gig and Sunday afternoon'll be the final rehearsal before the BIG gig (and then Dad's b-day afterwards, and oh shit I've got diddly for gift ideas). After that we'll go back to once a week practices, which'll be really nice.

I need to call electricians and get quotes on the studio, but having it paused isn't hurting me. There are really only three time-sensitive things I need to do:

1. writing (so I can keep on schedule, which keeps me going)
2. balancing checkbook/doing taxes
3. painting commission

Oh, and 4. Get a B-day present for dad. Okay, so there are four, four time-sensitive things I need to do... whenever I start this it turns into the Spanish Inquisition sketch. :P

[x-posted from tumblr]

I got a lengthy to-do list from the electrical inspector, and I'm going to try to get it in some sort of order, in hopes that it'll look smaller. And cheaper. (highly unlikely).

Easy and cheap

• Buy and install missing romex connector for exterior outlet
• tie gas line into ground wire. Purchased extra wire and stake clamp Friday, still need bonding clamp.

Moderate

• Remove ALL the outlets already wired, wait until drywall, and replace them ALL with Tamper Proof outlets now required by code (contrary to what I was told at home depot when I spent money on normal outlets). Incredible stroke of luck/generosity: One of dad's friends had an old house totally rewired a year or two back, and after they moved in his wife decided she wanted black outlets instead of white (to match age of house), so he has a bucket of perfectly good tamper proof outlets he's giving me! Yay, 25-30 bucks saved!
• Replace the existing 64 year old 12-2 cable to the water heater with 10-2 cable. 'Moderate' because it's thankfully all easily accessible.
• Tie electrical system to water lain and drain(s). 'Moderate' because it requires mucking under the house. It may already have been done, or partially done, but if any sections of plumbing were replaced with plastic the system is no longer cohesive and doesn't count.

Hard and/or Expensive

• Replace the 150 amp cables running from the meter into the back of the panel with 200 amp. (requires utility disconnect farther up the line, costing over $200 instead of $30 I was expecting for pulling meter)
• Replace the old weather abused cables running from weather head down to meter (which I'd always assumed was the utility company's problem and didn't even realize was my responsibility, beyond being totally out of the scope of my project)

The inspector seemed to think that replacing the run from the weatherhead down was something we could do, and he reassured me that the material wasn't expensive, but my dad is understandably scared of messing with the giant cables supplying power to the whole house. I can't blame him. So it looks like I'll need to get a contractor in to do it, and anyone who's had a house knows that means the price just more than doubled. At least.

On the upside, mom came over Saturday and we got the exterior walls insulated (minus the studbay where I'm missing the romex connector and the one containing the electrical panel). The total cash-out for that was only about $35, because I already had half a bundle and it turned out I had money left on the Lowes gift card I bought awhile back (I bought it so I could send my brother back to the store for something without trusting him w/ cash or card).

Also, now that I've squirted disgusting orange fireblock foam into all the wiring holes I know where cheetos come from.